A Day in the Life
by The Fanfiction Nymph
Summary: Diary entries from Vegeta, Bulma, Krillen and Freiza depicting their time on Namek. Note: Language and sexual themes.


_**Disclaimer: This story is in no way intended to infringe on any copyrights, It is a strictly a fan fiction. Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z, and Dragon Ball GT are owned/produced/merchandised by the following: TOEI Animation, Bird Studios, Akira Toriyama, Shonen Jump, Funimation, and others possibly not listed.**_

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**_A Day In the Life_**

_By_ The Fan fiction Nymph

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Vegeta's Diary 

**December 18;**

**Landed on Namek. **

**Freiza and Co seems to have collected a lot of the dragon balls. May have to get myself one…**

Stupid Freiza, Stupid Lackeys, Stupid Namek 

**December 19;**

**Got beat up by Zarbon. Stupid Zarbon. **

**December 20;**

**Mood improved greatly after beating up Zarbon. He really thought he could beat me a second time. Stupid Zarbon. **

**December 21;**

**Stole a dragon ball from a Namek. Stupid Namek. **

**December 22;**

**Stupid Earthlings they're here too. - What is this a moron convention? - All were missing is that Stupid Kakorot! **

**December 23;**

**Growing tired of playing ring around the corpses. Always seem to tripping over someone. Stupid Earthlings.**

**December 24;**

**Eliminated Giynuu Special Task Force and that blasted Kakorot showed up! Stupid Kakorot! **

**Large Green Man shows up and tries to take Freiza on alone. Fool.**

**Joined with Kakorot to defeat Freiza. Small cue ball headed man got himself killed. **

**Killed by Freiza. Stupid Freiza.**

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Bulma's Diary

_December 18th;_

After navigating through space for the past 49 days we finally land on the planet Namek.

Unfortunately it seems we are not the only ones here…So is Vegeta and some other rather shady characters!

And I want to go home!

I'm too beautiful and young to die **damnit**!

_December 19th;_

The boys have gone off and left me.

I'm all alone on a strange, green world and goddamn it I'm out of lip stick!!

_December 20th_;

What am I doing here? I'm not the adventures type!

I'm hungry, smelly and I broke a nail!!

I want a bath, some real food, a manicure, to go shopping, and **I want to go home!**

_December 21st;_

The guys are not back yet and I got chased by a large dinosaur thing with lots of teeth! When I get my hands on those two…

Goku where are you?!

_December 22nd_;

Still all alone on hostile planet. I should have known the planet Piccolo is from would be like this.

Why did I ever agree to come in the first place?

Need deodorant.

_December 23rd;_

What did I ever do to deserve this?

Body swapped with a frog. Just so you know, being a frog sucks. - Especially a male one with antenna.

Damn I need to get off this screwed up planet.

_December 24th_;

Merry Christmas Eve indeed!

Finally Goku showed up and Gohan came and found me –hurray!

Unfortunately he also was carrying a rather dead looking Piccolo. Anyway we were wished back to Earth! (Along with the with population of Namek, including Vegeta – uh-oh)

I'm finally home! I'll think twice before walking out my door again!

_Maybe I'll just live in my room…_

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Krillen's Diary

**December 18**;

Landed on Namek after listening to Bulma complain about everything for the past 49 days. (Only reason I know it's 49 days is that Master Roshi lent me his calendar covered with nude women draping them selves over things. Bulma was the only one not amused.)

We had just landed when we sensed Vegeta. Oh, shit.

Not that I really want to hurry back into the sardine can of a ship with Bulma (well alright I would have liked to climbed into anything with Bulma, but not if she's being Bitchy and uncooperative…maybe I could teach Gohan a new game…)

But I don't really want to die anytime in the not so distant future…

**December 19**;

What's worse than being locked in a space ship for 49 days with a PMSy Bulma?

Being stuck on a Planet full of super-strong-jerks-from-wherever-the-hell-Vegeta-is-from! And they're collecting the Dragon Balls too!

**-PS-** Gohan already knew 'game', apparently Piccolo used to play with him sometimes. Somehow the idea of large green man manages to turn me off. Then again…green

**December 20**;

Goku on the way!

Planet Namek almost pleasant. Green sky is a little unsettling though.

And it is rather annoying to have to walk or run every where to avoid being detected.

Damn. If only I were rich…three feet taller…surrounded by playboy grade women, just throwing themselves at me…I would be one celebrity to make time for groupies!…I could open my own temple- no way! Too much work I'll buy an old temple and use it to pave my driveway…two or three Olympic size swimming pools…own several alter boys…a whole fleet of cars…I'd buy Yamcha's stupid baseball team – maybe sell them to a Football team to use for practice…be really cool if I were taller than Goku!-yeah!…do all the things I always wanted to do with Maron- um Maron…

…and then I wouldn't be stuck here on Namek! I'd be lounging around by the pool in one of my hammocks by the sea…not worried about aliens or the destruction o f the world, just peacefully letting it be. Letting the world plummet into untold doom as I happily had my way with my Playboy girls I got on loan…

"**What is it _NOW_ Gohan!??!!"** he's worse than his dad that way. Still wouldn't understand my daydreams…then again maybe…

**December 21;**

Keep bumping into Vegeta, I fear that each time we do my life expectancy slips several notches. Gohan however is just like Goku was and shares that annoying habit of not fearing bad-asses. Amazing Goku's lived so long really…

-**PS-** Miss; Earth, Woman, deodorant and blue sky

**December 22;**

Goku! -Where are you!?

Don't dare go back to camp and find Bulma. I would only be inviting a painful and overly elaborate death.

Please God, I don't want to die… there's so many things I haven't done…true most of these somehow involve women in many different positions – but hey I'm a very simple guy

**-PS**- Buried dead Nemekiens.

They smell even worse when they've been rotting in the sun for a while…makes one miss home even more

**December 23;**

Really wish I were a few feet taller about now…

Was forced to join with Vegeta and it would really help my confidence if I were taller than him. Other than that life is being it's usual cruel and painful self for good old Krillen…

-**PS**- incase you missed the sarcasm in that last line "I hate my life."

**December 24;**

Killed by Freiza. Boy that was unpredictable…

**-PS- **why didn't I become a shoe sales man?

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Frieza's (_Diary)_ Chronicle of Power

**December 18th;**

Our goal is all but within our grasp, only a handful of Namek's stand between us and an eternity as ruler of the Universe!

What good fortune it was indeed for us to hear Vegeta's transmit on Earth.

Fool that he is he would try to come and get immortality for himself! They all would. They're all against me! Every single one of those ungrateful curs!

Those lowlifes are only out for themselves, but soon we will not need give thought to their blunderings.

The universe shall ever be our plaything!

_Goodnight Darling_

**December 19th;**

We have gathered almost all the Dragon Balls. The weaklings of this planet are not only an unfashionable color, but now they are all, but extinct. Ahahahahahahahah!

Soon the last of their pitiful civilizations will be whipped out and we shall have our wish!

Foolishly Vegeta finally showed his treatuary and was even fool enough to battle Zarbon! Vegeta of course was beaten to within an inch of his life and we had him healed in the rejuve tanks.

We think we may have use of the Sayijin after all…

Besides he's fun to _play_ with…shame he lost his tail…

**December 20th;**

Things to do before We die list,

Number 41 – complete – have clean the universe of the unfashionable color green.

Darling, the secret reason of why We came to Namek is finally completed. We have successfully annihilated every race of green skinned slimeballs from the universe now all We have to do is kill that annoying green thing in the Giynue Force…

Now We must hurry before Mr. Vivian gets annoyed (Mr. Vivian is the friendly man who lives in our finger. He likes to kill people with a pretty red glowing light thingy) Mr. Vivian wants to be immortal _NoW! _

_**December 21st ;**_

_We are rather tired after all that killing. Will take nap right after writing this….. _

_Oh, Mr. Vivian says 'drop dead you pathetic pansy', which We took as quite the compliment. Father always did say I was a pansy…_

_Sweet Dreams Darling_

_**December 22nd ;**_

_Something has been bothering Us lately. But thankfully We have figured it out. We just cannot stand the sight of this unfashionable sky any longer! A green sky like the reptilian creatures that dwell beneath it! In order to fulfill Our list of things to do before we die We must destroy the sky! _

_**December 23rd;**_

_We are still unsure as to how to destroy the Sky, but We are working on it and rest assured Mr. Vivian will think of something! (He's _so _smart, that Mr. Vivian!)_

_Small balled man with the child and Vegeta has been avoiding Us. We however wish to meet him, We shall arrange something …fitting….giggle… Tehehe! _

_We think that Mr. Vivian just made a beautiful suggestion that We must look into._

_Cho Darling!_

_**December24th;**_

_Yet another monkey arrived today. We are not quite sure how We missed this one, but shall make up for it once We destroy him and the memory of his pitiful race! Unfortunately he seems to have miss placed his tail, Darling. Isn't that funny? TeHee. _

_Later -_

_Unknown monkey has proven more powerful than We originally suspected. Apparently he is also from Earth, and calls himself Goku. _

_Rather regrettably We were forced to kill the arrogant Vegeta. Funnily enough he claimed that this 'Goku' – or 'Kakorot' as Vegeta called him – is a super Sayian. Comical as this is Mr. Vivian seemed to miss the humor value and see fit to send the deluded Sayian home to the rest of his kind, get it? – Rest? As in rest in peace? Hehehe!_

_Later still –_

_Seems We underestimated the simians Sayian, and got our self killed. Sad sad sad…_

…_Lying here on the floor where you left us…_

…_Wait what? We see something in the darkness of space…_

_Well Darling it seems We shall be extracting our revenge from Goku and his miserable planet after all…_

_- Must remember to thank Daddy._

_-END-_


End file.
